May 31st, 2023.
the jackfruit cartel
What died in your mouth?
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The vexing question that makes your loved ones suffer, colleagues cringe, strangers recoil, and dentists question their career choice.
Yes, dear reader, we're diving headfirst into the world of bad breath, where neglect takes centre stage; where the new toothbrush, tongue cleaner and dental floss, like forgotten prisoners, forever await their release from their packaging; where a variety of odours roam free like sheep in a forest without wolves; where plaque and bacteria mock your brushing efforts and revel in a thumping interdental rave party, right on your gums.
An intriguing aspect of bad breath is that it has a ninja-like ability to escape detection, by your own nose, despite its proximity to the mouth. It often remains elusive until you purposely catch a whiff of your own exhale or, in a courageous act, someone brings it to your attention, either kindly or cruelly. Only then do you become aware that something had indeed perished within.
Fear not, for you are not alone! Even the most photogenic of faces find themselves haunted by this condition. So, let’s discover a few tips that might just salvage your social life. For within these two pages, you will understand how to resurrect clean breath. So for now, take a deep breath, hold it for god’s sake and read on!
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The Usual Suspects
Here is a lineup of the usual suspects known to bring you disrepute, and unleash bad breath, right under your nose. Depending on your lifestyle, they may either gang up or act individually.
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Oral Hygiene
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Food choices
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Digestive health
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Medical conditions
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Oral hygiene
If oral hygiene is as alien to you as soap is to a hippie, brace yourself for a privileged experience: gingivitis, periodontitis, abscesses, cavities, rotten teeth, yellow teeth, eroded teeth and the likes.
Until you prioritise cleaning your entire mouth, not just brushing your teeth, you'll be left wondering what died in there. So shift your perspective and view the daily activity as cleaning the mouth, not merely brushing teeth.
Clearly your dental health is of utmost importance to everyone around you, if not yourself. So visit your dentist at least once a year. Until that glorious day arrives, use these tips:
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At least brush once a day, if twice is a showoff.
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​​And when you do, clean the tongue, palate and gums too. Leftover food bits can accumulate and cause bad breath.
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Rinse your mouth thoroughly after each meal, for it makes brushing easier with lesser debris to deal with.
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Change the toothbrush if the bristles have exploded like a firework display.
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Avoid using the pressure meant for scrubbing a floor tile, you will damage the enamel of the teeth and cause gums to shed crimson tears.
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Electric toothbrush dislodges the debris better and also massages the gums, try it once.
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Gently scoop the gaps between your teeth (esp. frontal upper and lower where most debris collects) and circle each teeth gently.
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Don’t match yellow teeth with a brown shirt, meet a dentist to get them cleaned.
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Even with twice-daily brushing, if the haunting title of this guide still lingers in your mouth, chances are you've overlooked flossing.
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Flossing thread reaches in between teeth, and removes most of the plaque- a sticky white paste which is a mix of food buildup, bacteria and saliva. Its smell can raise the dead, only to swiftly dispatch them once again. Watch a video and commit to flossing at least twice a week.
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Scrape away thrush (white coloured yeast) buildup on your tongue, with a cleaner and keep your mouth hydrated. Else, food gravy can cling to the thrush, like a skid mark, and horrify onlookers. So, the admonition to "watch your tongue" cannot be emphasised enough.
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Food choices
While on a romantic dinner, whether you stick to your words or not, the butter garlic fermented fish fry you devoured will cling to every word you utter, and every drop you sweat. Avoid potent aromas on your plate, or opt for gentler renditions. And let's not even waste another breath on the obvious: smoking and alcohol do stink your mouth.
Alcohol, non-veg feast, fermented food, cheese, egg, garlic, and onion can be more brutal than a viking raid. Consume them with caution or better yet, steer clear if you have an important day or an amorous night ahead.
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Digestive health
Poor digestive health occurs when food or poop overstays its welcome, and the resulting odours can send a rhino charging in the opposite direction. So watch what you eat and how you eat.
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Embrace the wisdom of Thich Nhat Hanh by reading his book "How to Eat”.
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Chew your food like a ruminating cow.
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Water can douse the digestive fire, so avoid it within 2 hours before and after your meal.
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Sip on steaming hot water or lukewarm, but avoid icy cold.
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Hot water cleans a greasy residue better than cold water, which solidifies it.
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Avoid packaged/outside food.
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Eat fiber and water rich fruits and veggies.
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Medical condition
Even with a dental routine fit for the Hall of Fame, some internal issues can still leave your breath smelly. So, blame it on diabetes or ageing, but don't let it go unchecked. Although society might cut some slack for the elderly, but that's no license to continue tthe assault.
Stay committed and invest a precious two minutes each day in the noble task of mouth cleaning. Trust me, it's a small price to pay for a breath worthy of a king, not a viking.
Stay fresh, folks!
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