Sometimes we all feel a bit sheepish about saying sorry, you see. Could it be that we're too proud to admit our mistake, or maybe we just don't wanna break our streak of never apologising. Or perhaps we're already sorry for whatever we did to necessitate the apology in the first place. Who knows, it's all a bit of a pickle, isn't it?

If in a situation where the mere utterance of "sorry" causes more agony than a tooth extraction, then here are some empty words to apologise without admission or justify yourself in an apologetic tone.  However, bear in mind if you find yourself using more than 5 of these tips, it's probably wiser to bite the bullet and free that struggling sorry from your lips for an instant, liberating closure.

Here’s the line-up:

#1. The “Not My Fault": Why straightaway apologise when you can simply justify your action in an apologetic tone? Save that sorry!  Shift the blame to something or onto someone else. Like, "Sorry I couldn't do the dishes, I had a long meeting." This way, you're not admitting fault, but you're still saying sorry. Though it may have been employed countless times, the classic excuse of blaming the traffic remains popular in this category.

#2 - The "Sorry You're Offended.” or. “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way.”: Although you’re the culprit, but who knew that you would get their knickers in a twist, right? So utter a sorry that sounds sympathetic, not apologetic like- I’m sorry you feel that way. Because, you are only responsible for what you say and not how they take it. And you're in the clear.

#3 - The "I'm Only Human": Why, oh why, did you eat the last slice of pizza, knowing full well it was meant for someone else? How selfish! So what, We all make mistakes, innit? So why not use that to your advantage? Just say, "Sorry, I'm only human" and treat that additional pizza like a reward for honourably accepting an embarrassing mistake, people will understand, they’re humans too, and may one day imitate the noble act on you.

 #4 - The "Sorry, Not Sorry":  Ah, yes, the great tabasco & pineapple-on-pizza debate. While I do respect your right to enjoy a plain, boring pizza, I'm sorry, not sorry for embracing the sweet, tangy and spicy flavors that pineapple and tabasco bring to my pizza.

​

#5 - The "Let's Move On": If all else fails, just say, "Let's move on." It's like saying sorry, but also like hitting the reset button. Everyone can forget about whatever happened and move forward.

When you've reached the fifth tip, don't prolong the charade any further. Free those two magical words from your reluctant lips for an instant closure. If you wish to remain adamant, then here’s four more and my best wishes for your attitude adjustment. 

#6 - The “I’m no expert,": This is when you take up a job outside your skill and botch it up badly, then you have no option but to say: “I already told you I’m no guard and I was just trying to help, so don’t blame me if there’s been a robbery while I was asleep.” 

#7- The “No Big Deal”- “Babe I'm sorry, but I didn't know it was a big deal. I thought it was just a casual thing, like, to smoke in front of your dad."

#8 - The “Accept and Distract": In this technique, you accept the blame and create an illusion of closure and segue into something more exciting like bragging about your latest post, thus leaving everyone with an impression that the issue is firmly in the past. For example, "I'm sorry I overpaid the employees this month due to oversight, but have you seen my latest tweet? It’s gone viral…”

#9 - The "Silent Apology": Sometimes, the best apology is no apology at all. You can simply ignore the situation and hope it goes away. Like when you realised that you forgot to flush the toilet in your friend’s home.

In a world full of apologies and regrets, may you always find the cleverest ways to avoid saying sorry. Happy dodging and may your apologies always be accompanied by a mischievous grin.

Stay unapologetically witty!