Tobacco Magnate Lights Debate as Marathon Sponsor: 

Critics stubbed by the display of overflowing cash trays. 

 

Fast Food CEO Stretches Irony as World Yoga Day Sponsor: 

Deep-fried enlightenment on chakra realignment. Breathe in, grease out. 

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Leading Auto Giant Promotes Public Transport:

Clarification - only for those not driving his cars.

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Shipping Tycoon Backs Aqua Life Conservation: 

Unloads a cargo of compassion, inadvertently drowns the sea in kindness.

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Notorious Drug Lord Unveils Chain of Rehabs:

Profits Soar as his own clientele line up at the door.

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Publishing Mogul Caught Attending a Tree-Hugging event:

Pens a new chapter in paradox, all to leaf a good impression.

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Diamond Baron Champions Youth Empowerment: 

Vows to polish minors into miners.

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Most Wanted Mercenary Tops the Organ Donor List:

Signs up as a donor, proving he has a beating heart too, and maybe even a brain.

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Tech Titan Celebrates ‘World Privacy Day’:

Your data's already mingling at the venue – just bring yourself!

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Anti-Corporate Activist Seeks Sponsors for a Protest: 

This protest is powered by the very powers aimed to fight.

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Social Media Siren Advocates Embracing Imperfections:

Trends #Flawsome, to prevent others from surpassing her beauty.

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Self-Help Expert Seeks Financial Enlightenment From Others:

Launches a crowdfunding campaign for a self-help retreat.

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Spiritual Guru Loses Zen in Road Rage:

Rush hour derails tranquility as he couldn’t ‘Hurry’ H‘om’e!