June 14th, 2023.
the jackfruit cartel
Wattey Shock Maga: Boozers become 'revenue generators' for the free electricity scheme.
You know, despite all the troubles they get into or cause, it's kinda ironic how alcoholics, end up solving certain problems, which a rather ‘responsible’ teetotaller would never even think of- be the first responder to the SoS of a government in urgent need of funds.
According to a news website, the present Karnataka government is in need of an additional Rs 50,000 to 60,000 crores to fulfil its five poll promises, one of which is free power up to 200 watts. So liquor, naturally, takes the lead, along with other measures to generate funds. As the ministers continue their deliberations on additional excise duty, the prices have already sneaked their way up for over a week.
Last week Mr. Kotreshi from Koramangala was in for a rude shock when he realised the same buzz he is used to, has now come with an extra kick in the wallet. Mr. Andrew from Austin Town
remains happily laid-back, unaware and unbothered as he rips open another tetra pack of his favourite drink. Mr. Hareesha, from Hebbal, is in a whole different boat! The poor guy's actually planning to quit, but had a change of heart when his friend suggested a change of brand.
While others take to the streets, shouting their lungs out about the skyrocketing prices of petrol, diesel, LPG, rice, and milk, let's take a moment to appreciate the tipplers - the silent rebels who have never staged a protest whenever the liquor prices are hiked. They’ve never cried foul over the price of their drinks. They have perfected the art of acceptance.
So, if you stumble upon an unconscious uncle on the street, do not cringe or scoff. Instead, pause and reflect: what’s your contribution? Hollow criticism? While that sorry figure lies there, completely oblivious, overdosed despite the price hikes, with an agonising hangover and an earful from his wife awaiting him as he wakes up, it's worth pondering who's really paying the price.
And what about you? As a self-righteous teetotaller, would you ever increase your LPG or electricity or water consumption if the prices were hiked without notice? Highly doubtful. All you'll do is complain and disdain, without truly understanding the struggles and sacrifices of others.
They, my friend, make it possible, for you, to enjoy those precious 200 watts of free electricity, all while you sit back and judge under the chill of your fan powered by their pegs and pints. Reflect on your own inaction and ask yourself, who's really making a difference here?
When you spot a long line of folks outside a liquor store, don’t mock. Keep in mind that they're not just there for booze, but also for a noble cause. They are unwittingly contributing to the realisation of the free electricity scheme, among others. So, let's give credit where it's due, even if it's found in the unlikeliest of places.
So raise your glass, be it filled with whatever coffee or tea or lassi, and let's toast to these unsung heroes-
Send it!
Disclaimer: The above content contains elements of satire and witty commentary intended for entertainment purposes only. It is not to be taken seriously or as a reflection of actual beliefs or opinions. Please approach the content with a lighthearted perspective and enjoy it for its humorous and exaggerated nature.
Next read is not safe for work, and not for the prudish.
